My dad’s a funny duck. I love him to bits. We are really close. When I was growing up though he was away a lot for work. I mean, a lot. Weeks and months at a time. So he was loving but distant and when he was home, because we weren’t used to it, my brother and I were probably really annoying and he was either really severe, or the times he ticked us off felt really severe to my 6 year old brain who wasn’t used to having him around.
Our concept of the world will largely be built around that view of our parents, particularly our dads. How we are parented will naturally influence how we see, and relate to, authority figures. Whether than be bosses, political leaders, senior ministers and even God.
Especially God.
God is so big it’s hard for us to wrap our heads around. Our brains can’t conceptualise something or someone so vast – so infinite. So our imaginations latch onto images, experiences and memories to help us conceptualise something beyond our comprehension.
So often, our view of God can align more with our view of our earthly fathers. It’s not hard to see why – the Bible even tells us that God is our Father:
- In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. (Matthew 18:14)
- Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. (Luke 12:32)
- This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name….” (Matthew 6:9).
God is not just ‘the’ father, he is ‘our’ father. The difference is important. ‘The’ father is remote. He is a person that has some familial responsibility but not necessarily a personal one. ‘Our’ father is personal. That is a personal parent.
The tricky thing is, if our view of personal heavenly father is influenced by our personal earthly father, this gives us a skewed view of our God, the creator of the whole world and us. This influences how we relate to God and how powerful we, deep down, believe that he is. It affects how we behave in response to our salvation – our faithful obedience can be different depending on how we view God.
For example, if you dad is quite severe, makes you feel guilty, makes you feel like they are disappointed in you, or if your dad is angry with you, this can seep into your view of God. It means you might view God’s grace as conditional, perhaps even easily lost if you do something that might fall short of God’s expectations. Conceptualising a God of judgement without love drains life and joy from the picture of God that we have been given in Scripture. And it can affect how we witness to others by communicating who we think God is – somehow distant and harsh.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)
Perhaps your dad is kind of free and easy, funny, and a bit loosey-goosey with discipline. This can seep into your assumptions about God just as much. Perhaps we (without even knowing it) secretly assume that God’s judgement isn’t going to apply to you that much. Conceptualising a God of love and delight without justice, drains the cross of its power to conquer sin. And just like with the severe view, it can affect how we witness to others by communicating who we think God is – somehow casual and careless.
God will judge everyone’s secret life through Jesus Christ. (Romans 2:16)
Here’s the thing, we don’t need to find “the sweet spot” between a draconian or lax God. We just need to believe what Scripture tells us about him.
That’s not easy when our human brains need earthly hooks to hang onto. But he did give us an earthly hook – Jesus. If we want to be able to conceptualise our infinite God, we need to get to know Jesus for “the Son is the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15).
We need to wean our imagination off our earthly parental views and transfer it to Scripture. How do we do that? Let’s critically self-reflect:
How do we see God? Is my view influenced by my parent?
If you think it is, or might be, dive back into the gospels. Get to know Jesus and let his attitudes, behaviours, deeds and words be your influence. Sometimes it is even helpful to read Christian books to help illuminate God’s character as well as how it is revealed through the Son. There are some recommendations below. In the meantime, remember this: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1). If we are able to see God as he is, and not as we make him, we will be truer disciples, more effective witnesses and get closer to living a life of increasing passion, energy and Christlikeness.
Book recommendations:
- Knowing God by J. I. Packer
- None Like Him by Jen Wilkin
- The Attributes of God by A. W. Tozer
- Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund